So, I guess I owe this community an apology as I’ve been disappearing a bit lately, and my last post didn’t exactly leave any positive feelings on this blog. Although, I highly doubt anyone is waiting on their hands and knees for my next post, I still feel obligated to apologize for my absence. I’ve been going through some personal issues, and haven’t had the best luck in the support-department with my friends, or lack thereof.
But, I won’t post anything depressing et centra. Actually, I’ve had 13 drafts of posts, but I scrapped them all. None felt..right. I’ve sat at Starbucks, staring at a blank screen wondering if my inspiration to write simply got up and walked away. More often than not it’s times like these, the most trying and difficult times in my life, that I find myself most inspired. But, I’ve been a blank slate.
I could write about love, but I’ve exhausted that topic, besides, those I love are well aware of it and do not need to validation of a website to remind them. I could whine and moan about my deteriorating health, however it’s consistently deteriorating, so why bring it up? And of course, I can always post pictures, but all that would do is give anyone who stumbled upon my blog the assumption that I actually do have a life. Here’s a pro tip – I don’t. My instagram, twitter, tumblr, and facebook are all just versions of who I would like to be perceived as…specifically someone busy and always surrounded by people who love her. But, that’s completely untrue. My life is a cycle of working, sleeping, eating, and freaking out about my newest television obsession.
I have a boring life, but this wordpress at least captures the closest to the purest form of who I am that any social media website could possibly convey. I write when I’m upset, I try to be honest in my written words. I was never good at writing in a diary because I wanted other people to read it. I would deliberately leave mine out in the open in hopes my mother would stumble upon it, read it, and pay attention to me. At least here, people care about what I have to say. My voice is heard…and that, in and of itself, keeps me sane.
So, to the people who comment or like my posts: You’re keeping me alive. Take that however you choose, but I do hope you know I appreciate your consistency in my life; especially when everyone and everything has found a way to switch up. I no longer know what is what, who is who, and where the hell I am. But, at least some people are here for the ride with me, and that is all I can ask for at this moment.